July 1 2022.
Dolly told me that she received an invitation from Rica to have dinner with them on the 6th of July.
I asked, "What was the occasion?"
Dolly said, "I don't know. Maybe they just want us to have dinner with them."
"Ok.", I said. "It's good we're going somewhere."
July 6 2022.
Mike and Rica lived in downtown Toronto. For many, going to downtown Toronto has many challenges; traffic for one and parking another. Traffic wasn't going be a problem because the invitation is for dinner, so by that time rush hour traffic is over. Parking should also be not a problem for us because there are parking facilities that offer a reasonable 12-hour flat rate after 6:00 pm, which we took advantage of.
We arrived at their place around 6:30 pm. Mike and Rica graciously welcomed us to their home, as always. Dolly brought out the Binagoongan, Nanaimo bar and the Ube Ice cream.
I first met Mike and Rica a little over six years ago. They were parishioners at a church where I used to work.
At one of the parish activities, Mike approached me and said, "You know my wife, Rica, and I were guessing if you studied at that Jesuit-run school along Katipunan. The way you speak, your diction and how you pronounce your "R's" is very much like the graduates of that school."
"Yes, I am an alumnus that school. And so was my wife - for her MA.", I replied.
"Rica and I graduated from UP (University of the Philippines).", Mike added.
"And I am also an alumna of Maryknoll.", Rica added.
Surprised at this revelation, I said, "My wife was also an alumna of Miriam College. (Maryknoll College changed their institutional name in 1990). And Dolly belongs to the first batch of graduates under Miriam College." "And our of two daughters also went to Miriam College.", I added.
With such succinct conversations were able to make a connection that spans decades, distance and generations.
That initial meeting were followed by a few more, although far and between. Nevertheless, we often see them at masses and other church activities. When opportunity presents itself, we do engage in meaningful exchanges--exchanges that are oftentimes reserved for people you have known for a long time. An opportunity came through an invitation of a Filipino priest friend who was to be reassigned to a new parish in Orangeville. He wanted us to join him for a dinner at the Suarez's residence for a 'despedida' get-together for him. Dolly and I plus Martin (our youngest child) were technically guests of the guest.
Being Filipinos, we didn't go there empty handed. We brought pork adobo.
Mike and Rica were gracious hosts. They welcomed us like long lost family. They prepared a feast - Bacolod-style!
When we entered their condo we felt like we were thrown back in time. Their condo was like a museum of a long gone era. It was like we were magically transported into the Hispanic time in the in the Philippines. Of course, we got curious with all the antique items around us. Good thing we did not wait long to understand the story behind each item.
We learned that Mike and Rica were from Bacolod. Mike hails from Bacolod and Rica was from Manila, but when they got married they decided to live in Negros. After 32 years of staying there and living through the socio-economic and political climate of the country, they decided to migrate to Canada. They have been in Canada for over twenty years. The antique stuff we saw in their condo were their treasured possessions from Bacolod. Dolly and I were so amazed by the wonderful stories behind each item. Each is a treasure that contains good personal memories and wonderful stories that any Filipino can resonate with.
We discovered that the over-a-century-old framed wooden relief sculpture of St. Michael the Archangel, which hangs on the wall of St. Michael's Cathedral Basilica Rectory, was donated by them.
The coziness of their home, with no white bright fluorescent lights but only soft diffused incandescent lamps at every corner of the room, put us all into a trance as it were. Our conversations went on and on. Food flowed non-stop. We did not notice the time until our son, Martin, called our attention. It was time to go home. It was almost midnight.
2020 - 2021. It was a difficult time. The whole world went on lockdown because of the Covid-19 pandemic. Despite the gloominess of the situation, people tried to find reasons to celebrate. And one big reason to celebrate was the 50th wedding anniversary of Mike and Rica. The only thing we could do for them, however, was to greet them online.
When Toronto has started seeing some light at the end of the tunnel of being hunkered down, and restrictions were slowly being lifted by the latter part of 2021, my family and I celebrated Dolly's birthday. Of course, Mike and Rica were invited to our gathering of friends. Because we really missed meeting in person, this get together was followed by a joint celebration for Martin's Confirmation and Pamela's (our second daughter) birthday. Again, Lolo Mike and Lola Rica graced these wonderful occasions for they stand as the grand parents of our children here in Canada.
2022. The pangs of the pandemic hit again. The first few weeks of the year saw the rising number of Covid-19 cases. People had gone crazy with all the confusing announcements about health restrictions until mid February. Finally, restrictions were partially lifted. Dolly and I found an opportunity to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary. In an intimate dinner in an italian restaurant, Rica, Mike and another friend, Laura, helped us make the occasion memorable. Lola Rica and Lolo Mike gifted us with an unframed painting of a 'Dalagang Filipina'. Dolly baptized the Dalaga as Dorothea to remind her of the origin of her name. Although the name Dolly is a given name in its own right, my wife Dolly wants to remember the meaning of her name by attaching it to the name's origin, namely, Dorothy (not Dolores), because Dorothy or Dolly means "God's gift."
July 6 2022. With the table set and the food prepared, we said our prayers and shared an excellent dinner. Rica prepared Hainanese Chicken. I told Rica that the next time we meet I'll try to prepare Chicken Inasal, Kansi (Beef Shank, Jackfruit, Batuan or Kamias), or KBL (Kadyos, Baboy, Langka); and for dessert, Napoleones or Silvanas.
Topics of conversation were very intense but that's just how it was. Mike and Rica are family to us, we could open our hearts to them. Dolly and I believe that if one cannot cry and be vulnerable in front of family, those whom you can trust, where else can you go. The word home in Filipino is tahanan. Tahan means to stop crying. The suffix -an indicate a place where an act is done. So home for Filipinos is where one can freely cry and find consolation to stop crying -- Tahanan. Mike and Rica are parents to us, and grandparents to our children. That is why we address them as Lolo Mike and Lola Rica. They are God's gifts to us in our new life in a foreign land.
But everything turned light when Rica told us over dinner that Mike is turning 77 the following day: July 7. So, its 77 at 7-7-2022. The Ube ice cream and the Nanaimo bars could not be more timely and appropriate.
And when it was time for us to go, it was almost midnight. As usual. Time flies when you are with the company of those who love you.
This reminds me of what I came across on social media just recently. It says, "Which is more important," asked Big Panda, "the journey or the destination?" "The company," said the Tiny dragon. But Papa Bear interjected, "All of them."
I agree with Papa Bear. If life is a journey, the destination, the journey itself and the co-sojourner are equally important. What is the meaning of traveling if you do not have a destination to aim at. No dream? No plans? No wishes? Without it life is not a journey, but just mere gallivanting. Also, what kind of journey is it if you travel alone? The company you keep is what makes your travel exciting and meaningful. So, when Ralph Waldo Emerson once wrote, "It's not the destination it's the journey," I believe he included in the journey the companions of the sojourner.
Mike and Rica are like our co-travelers in our life in Canada. We also are trying our best to arrive at the same destination. They join us in our happy moments and help us carry our burdens. Dolly and I hope we can reciprocate their generosity.
As husband and wife, they started their journey in Bacolod more than two decades earlier than us, while we made ours in Manila. In 2017, God willed it that our paths crossed. Since then my journey with Dolly and our three children became meaning because of Mike and Rica. We are grateful therefore that God made it happen that they welcomed us not only into their home but also in their life. Maraming salamat po, Mike and Rica!
P.S. My close friends call me Papa Bear.